Tactics of Evasion and Manipulation in Narcissistic Relationships

Summary

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be a difficult and exhausting experience. Understanding their motives and strategies is essential to protect yourself and reclaim your power. As a survivor of narcissistic abuse, I want to share my knowledge to help others recognize the tactics used by narcissistic partners.

Understanding Narcissistic Relationships

Narcissists are focused on power and control in their relationships. They manipulate and dominate their partners without considering the emotional or physical harm they cause.

Mutual respect, trust, and care for each other’s well-being are the basis of a healthy relationship. However, individuals with narcissistic tendencies see relationships as a way to boost their ego and meet their social and financial needs. They don’t need romance, affection, or sex — they use these only as a currency to get what they want, when they want. Narcissists don’t get emotionally involved, which makes them even crueler and, thus, more powerful in a relationship.

The truth is narcissists love only themselves and their over-inflated egos. They don’t love, need, or care about you. Their whole existence is only about themselves.

The Ultimate Nightmare for a Narcissist

The worst thing that can happen to a narcissist is to have to admit that they have caused damage to their partner.

As a survivor of narcissistic abuse, I know first-hand the destructive behavior that narcissists can exhibit in relationships. They completely lack consideration for the emotional or physical harm they cause to others.

Narcissists will go to any length to avoid facing their guilt. They will use tactics like evasion, confusion, word salad, and aggression to maintain control and protect their egos. It is easier for them to leave you and find their next victim, than to face the guilt of their ruthless selfishness.

Decoding Narcissistic Argument Strategies

Based on my personal experiences, I share some of the most common tactics used by narcissistic partners in arguments. Remember that these are just a few indicative examples. Your narcissistic partner may use different tactics to avoid accountability and to retain toxic control over you.

Deflection:

When faced with a direct question, narcissists deflect the conversation. They do this by turning the focus onto the person asking the question, bringing up past events, talking about unimportant details, or simply staying quiet. It’s important to remember that this is only a tool they use to stay in control and avoid taking responsibility. It’s not about you.

Silent Victim Reversal:

Narcissists can sit silently for hours while their partner is uncomfortable and arguing. They wait for you to make one small mistake, like a mistake in a date or count, and as soon as they find it, they become aggressive and accuse you of lying. The focus will quickly shift away from the actual argument. Instead of seeking an explanation from them, you’ll have to explain yourself.

The Loud Outburst:

When narcissistic partners feel cornered, they may lash out with loud aggression. They’ll blow a minor mistake out of proportion and become so loud and intimidating that their partner is too afraid to continue the conversation. Stay aware of this technique, and don’t let it shut down the discussion.

The Emotional Manipulation of Tears:

Narcissists are known to use emotional manipulation, including playing the victim. When they feel cornered, they may start crying and pretend to hurt themselves, painting a sad picture of their life in an attempt to gain sympathy from their partner. Be aware of this tactic, and don’t let them manipulate you into comforting them, instead of holding them accountable for their actions.

Conclusion

Handling a toxic relationship with a narcissistic partner is challenging. Narcissists will do anything to keep control, even if that means lying, avoiding responsibility, or using confusion and aggression. They won’t try to find solutions or work on the relationship. They definitely, don’t care about their partners.

Don’t waste time trying to change a narcissistic partner. It won’t work. Find a healthy relationship where you are loved, valued, and your needs come before your partner’s wants. Empower yourself and move on.